just learn some manners
We need character education. Our school attempts to run a character education program. We have a “character word” of the week, which is announced, along with a brief explanation each week over the announcements. But we don't actually teach behavior associated with that word.
I think our community could really benefit from is a strong program to teach character (I'm thinking along the lines of some of the programs in the KIPP schools) in elementary and middle school, and perhaps even into the high school, that truly teach proper behavior and etiquette. After going on vacation, and leaving the Delta, I remembered again how frustrating the lack of social manners in our community really is.
When you go to restaurants in this community, your order is constantly lost, confused, or met with a scowl. Rarely do store clerks look you in the eye, or secretaries respond with a smile. No one takes time to help you any more than their job requirements allow.
In schools (and out of them) most kids do not understand how to speak to adults, do not use the words “please” and “thank you” and rarely look you in the eye. They seem to struggle with the idea that others might have feelings, or that others might wish for the same respect that they themselves require.
It's not the kids' fault. They don't know. I've watched parents that are present for these types of behavior react as if all is normal, barely perceiving that their child's behavior might be impolite, or even outright rude and offensive. So much to teach; so little time.
Comments
I've been reading the book No Excuses by Thernstrom(?) and it is really affirming some of the things I've come to believe down here. Poor black kids (and white, but I'd say it's more pronounced with black kids) largely exist in a culture that subverts academic achievement. They are obviously as innately talented as white upper-middle class kids in the suburbs, but as long as this culture that lacks respect for other people, defies any form of authority, and places little value on hard work is the dominant force in their lives, they will continue to exist as an underclass. Good teaching may affect a handful of students in an environment like that, but a handful per grade in a shitty school getting an education compared to everyone in a good school is not really going to change the social structure of this country.
I used to be skeptical of KIPP schools (the chanting?) but now I think it's really the only way to have large-scale education reform. These kids need to learn middle class values if they are ever going to become middle class or better. "Be nice, work hard" seems trite and simplistic, but most of my kids don't have the first clue about how to do either.