More thoughts from an NYTimes columnist on the way this country does not seem to value education enough...
I've been feeling generally more negative about school recently.
Every time I come back from a break its been tough -- I am always excited about my well-planned lessons and the chance at a fresh start... and every time I am disappointed by more of the same.
This particular return-from-break has been especially hard because my seniors now see the beginning of the end. They have begun to treat school as a way to pass time before their graduation. They care less, try less, play more... and rightfully so. I did the same thing when I was in high school. But coming from a bunch of kids who don't try much to begin with, and into whom I pour countless hours of work.... its heartbreaking.
Many of my students will have a rude awakening in college, if they go. They are behind. Their reading skills are somewhat low, their study skills almost non-existent, and their work ethic zero. These weeks could HELP improve these things, or at least get them prepared for that mindset. ... if only they could see it that way.
At first I thought it was a blessing that I had 95% seniors this semester. Now I realize I would trade them in a second for freshmen. They'd probably fight me just as hard, but at least they would pick up skills to use for the rest of their high school careers. The seniors somehow believe 'nothing matters' now that they are 'done'. That college is different, no matter how much I try to show them otherwise.
Oh, also I got a new student today in third block. On March 26th. With six and a half weeks remaining for seniors.
More ideas on closing the achievement gap from the Freakonomics blog.
I had a very odd thing happen yesterday at the track meet. All day long I kept having these flashbacks (Sign #1 you've been watching Lost too much). Only I wasn't flashing back to throwing in a college track meet, or receiving my t-shirt for placing well, or stretching before competition.... I kept flashing back to all the things my coach did during meets. Standing way off on my own watching, I thought about the particular way he used to stand while watching us -- how he would always pick a corner off to the side, away from everyone else. When I motioned one athlete over to talk to him, I remembered my own coach's little hand motion. All day long I felt like I suddenly knew my coach a little bit better, now that I was walking in his shoes, so to speak. I laughed out loud when I found myself playing with a piece of tinfoil absentmindedly; he used to always play with a piece of a stick, or a plastic straw, in the long pauses between throws.
These little flashbacks were helpful, too. I caught myself before giving too much advice – I remembered the way he always used to back off (even when I wanted more advice) because too many suggestions won't help at the last minute. I realized which meet official would be worthwhile to direct a question, and which ones I should clearly avoid.
What struck me the most about the day was how exhilarating it is to have a group of kids depend on you. This doesn't happen as often as I would like in the classroom- many kids are simply out to prove that they don't need you, that they “be already grown”, that you are simply complicating their lives with your silly worksheets and your boring stories and your annoying notes. But at the track meet, here were a group of people (they're not really children, and certainly not adults) who looked to me for answers, who asked me before acting, who needed me for help, who trust me.... who depended on me. That is an unbelievable good feeling. In fact, today made me realize why parenting will be such a joy ... not just that you made a little person out of yourself, but that the little person is completely dependent on you for its livelihood (rather than, say, a single day at a track meet).
The questions came constantly (here I also began to remember a former coach refusing to take questions at track meets...) Can we fold up the tent? Where we stopping to eat? Where the gold shot put? When do I throw? What time it is? When do I throw? When do I throw? Can we eat now? Where the food at? Should I wear these shoes? What time it is?
All day long my phone was ringing: “Hey Co', its Darrius.” “Hi Darrius” “Uhh, where you at?” “I'm over by the long jump area, what's up?” “Oh, okay. (a pause) Should I warm-up now?”
And again, a half hour later: “Ms. M, come to the girl's bathroom right away. Jessica just finished the 3200 and she is getting sick all over herself”
And again, “Hey Co' could you call Coach L? Terrica here in the tent and she cryin' and in pain and I think she hurt. “
At 11p.m. “ Co? “ “Yes? Hello?” “Uhh, you still at school?” “No, I am on my way home, what's wrong?” “Uh, I left my Bluetooth on the bus. What do I do?”
All in all, a great day. The kids we took were all good kids, and the weather was beautiful. On the bus ride home, the kids were being hilarious – the whole bus was in stitches... I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Good things.
Knowing what I know now about the profession of teaching (through experience) and our nation's educational model (from grad school) this NYC middle school seems like a brilliant idea. Paying teachers what they are worth, rather than what we can scrape together to get the job done. And principals who are paid less than teachers - to encourage good teachers to stay in the classroom!
It's not surprising that its founder is a young, alternative-route (i.e. Teach for America) innovator. Money is misused like crazy in school systems here. I don't care how many SmartBoards you put into a classroom, they are not worth a damn if the teacher using them is incompetent. (Speaking of incompetency and Smartboards, my classroom is having one installed. Apparently our school is going on another technology spending spree - I just want to tell them, give me the $2,500, get out of my classroom, and just let me teach!)
Teachers are not paid enough. Really. Not just in Mississippi (where in fact, the standard of living for a teacher isn't too bad) but everywhere, across the country As a result, we have a teacher shortage, and many, many barely-qualified candidates in the classroom. Everyone talks about how important education is, but our nation's schools are staffed by the bottom of the barrel. The average ACT scores and GPA of secondary teachers are well beneath the national average for college graduates....why would we want those below average to turn around and work with the next generation?
Our program director has lots of good posts on this problem (here is a recent one). If teachers made $125,000 a year, there's a chance I would stay in teaching for life. As it is, I'm not sure I will. Every time I have to work through exhaustion, every time I have a bad day and have to come home to still more lesson-planning, every time a principal tells me in a condescending tone that I haven't done such-and-such-time-consuming-task, I think to myself: I am a responsible, intelligent, motivated young worker. I could find a job in an instant where I am paid just as much for half the work. In fact, many of my friends are paid just as much as I am, and I know they are doing half the work. The only friends of mine who work as much as I do are either teaching here, or making a well-deserved six figure salary in New York City.
What would it take to get our nation to change its priorities?
Another great NYTimes article -- a discussion between a number of interesting voices -- looks at the intricacies of educational philanthropy, one sign that things are (perhaps) changing...
Because they have managed to say all those things I've been thinking, but haven't managed to sort through, I quote my fellow teachers when it comes to hope:
Mike writes:
"If I had to choose, I would say that the single most defining aspect of
teaching in the Mississippi Delta is the hair's breadth distance
between intense hope and deep disappointment, between strength and
failure."
and later,
"I think I am finally beginning to understand why people around here pray so much."
And of course, mr. g has some beautiful thoughts about our impact, our kids, and the heartbreaking hopelessness of this place:
http://younevercantellwithbees.blogspot.com/2008/03/spring-break.html
here's to spring break....
Why the term "African-American" should be eliminated. There are many other voices who agree.
Black seems to be the operative word around here - in fact I am not sure I have ever heard one of my students refer to themselves as African-American.
Wandering through the Walmart tonight, I noticed these. Motion-sensor lights inside the fridges. Walmart has been putting these in all its newer stores -- one of a number of energy efficient policies designed to increase profits as well as its battered reputation.
I write about it now because its pretty shocking to see green initiatives around here. Mississippi doesn't even have recycling. Seriously. We keep a large box of old paper near our printer, but it is only recycling in name. Even if we wanted to recycle it, there is nowhere for it to go. It just ends up in our trash bags along with plastic bottles, aluminum cans, newspaper, glass bottles..... We make a lame effort to compost, but its more out of guilt for all those other things than a real dedication to the environment.
The best thing about the motion-lights at Walmart though is not their energy saving abilities -- its getting to run down the aisle like a little kid and hear them all clicking and blinking to life as you pass by each one...
